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Featured: Interviews for the Well-Informed

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Friday, July 3, 2015

"Jiggery Pokery & Pure Applesauce... Oh My!" by Old Fart Rants

Transcript: People who claim that only 1 man and 1 woman qualifies as "traditional marriage", and that this definition of marriage is based on God’s word as stated in the Bible are full of crap. The Bible clearly states that when it comes to marriage, having more than 1 wife is fine. The Bible clearly states that when it comes to marriage, incest is fine. The Bible clearly states that when it comes to marriage, murder. kidnapping and rape are fine.

The Bible clearly states that when it comes to marriage, involving your slaves in your family bloodline is fine. what the Bible DOES NOT clearly state is that traditional marriage is to be only between 1 man and 1 woman. And anyone who cites the Bible as "moral authority" to excuse their homophobia is conducting the highest form of jiggery pokery - the exact phrase used by Justice Scalia to describe the case of those fighting for marriage equality. So here we have a Supreme Court Justice, who's a devout Catholic, which one would think makes him at least somewhat aware of what Bible actually says about so called traditional marriage, siding with the Bible thumpers and wingnuts who consistently use the Bible as their only defense against marriage equality as law.

It's bad enough we have Supreme Court judges who believe in fairy tales in the 21st century, but at least we should expect them to get their fairy tales straight - right? I say any public official who bases their legal opinion or proposes or opposes any law based solely on a book of fairy tales that don't even support their argument to begin with, should be yanked out of office, and prohibited from holding any government office ever again. And any public officials out there who still want to refuse issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples in defiance of what is now the law of the land should be fired immediately - if they can’t do their jobs because of their religious convictions then they need to find another job. Religious freedom doesn’t mean you can pick and choose the laws you like, especially when their religious convictions are pure applesauce to begin with - and by applesauce I mean bullshit! We've been subject to the jiggery pokery of people using the Bible as "evidence" to oppose freedom and equal rights for centuries in this country, and it's time we put a stop to it.

Fortunately we still have just enough sane justices on the Supreme Court to get a decision right every now and then, but we can't allow another justice like Scalia or Thomas to be appointed in the next 8 years, especially when 2 of the more reasonable liberal justices will probably retire during that time. And since appointing Supreme Court justices is really the most important long game for any presidential administration, that's why we must put a Democrat in the White House in 2016 and 2020. Hopefully by then most of the old, white Bible thumping bigots will be 6 feet under, and America can get on to more important business than listening to a bunch of bigots and idiots claiming that what people they don't approve of do in their bedrooms is an somehow attack on their religious freedom - especially when their source material, the Bible, reads like a sci-fi horror story!

That my friends is pure applesauce!

Sources: Genesis 1:1 to 2:25 / Genesis 4:1 / Genesis 4:8 / Genesis 4:16 / Genesis 20:12 / Genesis 16:3 / Exodus 21:10 / Deuteronomy 22: 13-21 / Deuteronomy 22: 28-29 / Judges 21: 7-23 / 1 Chronicles 3: 1-9 / 2 Samuel 16:21 / 1 kings 11:1 / 1 kings 11:3 / 1 Chronicles 2:35 / Matthew 19:9 / Mark 12:19 / Matthew 19:29 / 1 Timothy 3:2
https://youtu.be/HakIM5XLf_k

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