"Let's Make America Great Again" by Old Fart Rants

Remember when Donald Trump and the birthers demanded that Barack Hussein Obama release his birth certificate to prove he was eligible to be president of the United States? Remember all the "amazing things" Trump claimed his team of investigators found when they researched Obama's birth certificate in Hawaii? Remember how we never heard a peep about any of those amazing things? Just last Sunday, the Donald, who’s so far ahead of the rest of the Republican presidential candidates in the polls it’s a national embarrassment for the GOP, said he's still not sure if Obama's presidency is legitimate, but he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. He doesn't want to talk about Ted Cruz who was born in Canada, or Marco Rubio whose Cuban parents didn't become citizens until a year after he was born, or Bobby Jindal whose parents were foreigners, or Rick Santorum whose mother was an American citizen but his father wasn't. According to Trump and the birthers, none of these candidates are qualified to be President of the United States. So where's all the outrage? Now remember, the birthers claim to be "strict constitutionalists" which I suppose means we have to follow the constitution word for word, exactly as written. Let's set aside the fact that for a strict constitutionalist the words "a well-regulated militia" in the 2nd Amendment are a deal breaker for private gun ownership for a moment, and take a look at what the Constitution actually says about being eligible to be president: "No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the office of President." Remember, we're supposed to be strict. The Constitution was ratified in 1789, and the Constitution clearly states that only natural born citizens who were alive at the time it was adopted were eligible to be president. That means that every single president since William Henry Harrison has been in office illegally! So where have all the birthers gone? Where is all the outrage about Cruz, Rubio, Jindal and Santorum? Could it be they only care about checking Barack Obama's papers because they're really just bigots and xenophobes who can't stand the idea that we could ever have a black president with a Muslim-y sounding name? The new Republican talking point that’s grabbing all the headlines right now, but only because Donald Trump brought it up, is that we need to repeal the 14th amendment which gives anyone born in the United States automatic US citizenship. The 14th amendment has been the law of the land for almost 150 years - but now it's a problem? We need to get rid of it to fix our immigration problem? Really? Well, I say go for it and see what happens, but while we're at it how about we fix our gun violence problem too by repealing the 2nd Amendment. The days of the black powder musket and the British sitting off our shores as an imminent threat are long gone. The days of having local "well regulated militias" are long gone. Nowadays we have the Coast Guard, the National Guard, local and state police, the FBI, the ATF, the US Marshalls, and the 4 branches of the military. We sure as hell don’t need local well regulated militias to defend our nation in 2015 - period. But of course this will never happen because right wing half-wits cherry pick the Constitution to justify their views just like the evangelical half-wits cherry pick the Bible. Speaking of which - did you know that half of the Republican presidential candidates are on record saying that their administrations will report to God? If we really want to make America great again, it's really easy - just make every candidate for running public office pass a 5th grade civics exam or be disqualified, and start enforcing the constitutional separation of church and state. That should do it!

https://youtu.be/EFmavojEs88